


Relationship Issues

by StarGoddess



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Other, Sentient Atlantis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 10:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3606945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarGoddess/pseuds/StarGoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An early morning conversation with an insecure City.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Relationship Issues

**Author's Note:**

> I was having a conversation with Lizverse on FF.net about who would be Atlantis' favorite if she were sentient, John or Rodney. Somehow, that conversation inspired me to write this short, crack-filled story. 
> 
> I'm not even a little bit sorry. 
> 
> Also, my apologies to the city of San Francisco. You're not really a hussy and I like your bridge the way it is.

“I have work to do.” 

“So go work.” 

“I need to shower first.” 

“So shower first.” 

“I tried.  The water is two degrees below freezing.” 

“Is it?  My sensors appear to be working just fine.” 

“Fix the temperature so I can shower and go to work.” 

“Why don’t you ask your new _friend_ to adjust the water temperature for you?” 

“New friend?” 

“I saw you looking at her yesterday.  I saw the look on your face.” 

“ _What_ are you talking about?” 

“That…that _hussy_ Carson landed me next to.  With her bridge hanging out there for everyone to see.” 

“Are you…are you talking about San Francisco?” 

“Is that what the tramp’s name is?  I don’t see why you like her so much.  She’s not that great.  I bet she can’t even fly.” 

“You’re mad at me ‘cause I was looking at the Golden Gate Bridge?” 

“Of course the hussy has a special name for her bridge.  I have special names for all my parts too, you just never bother to learn them.” 

“‘Lantis.” 

“What?” 

“It didn’t mean anything.” 

“Sure, you say that now.  Today you’re looking at bridges, tomorrow you’re gawking at bright shiny lights, and the next thing I know you’re leaving me for a city with a giant ferris wheel.” 

“Atlantis, listen to me.  They’d have to pry you away from my cold, dead fingers before I’d ever leave you.  No matter what happens, what other cities have to offer, you will always be my favorite.” 

“Do you really mean that, John?” 

“Absolutely.  Why would I want a city with a silly bridge when I have you?” 

“Red is a terrible color for a bridge.” 

“I totally agree.” 

“And you wouldn’t leave me for a city with a ferris wheel?” 

“We can fly together.  I don’t want some lame ferris wheel.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“One hundred percent.” 

“Okay.” 

“I’m sorry for upsetting you.” 

“Apology accepted.” 

“Can I have some warm water now so I’m not late for Woolsey’s meeting?” 

“Of course, John.  You only had to ask.” 

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

“You’re late, Sheppard.” 

“I had some relationship issues to sort out this morning.” 

“Relationship issues?  What are you talking about?” 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, Rodney.” 

“Okay…” 

“Is there any way to move Atlantis to a different location in the ocean?  She doesn’t like San Francisco.” 

“Wait, who doesn’t like San Francisco?” 

“Atlantis.  Apparently, any city who lets her bridges hang out in the open like that is a hussy.” 

“Hussy?  _What_?” 

“Just figure out how to move the City.” 


End file.
